5 Reasons You Need To Get Off Snapchat NOW

Watching someone over thirty try to use Snapchat is like watching a bear try to get into a locked garbage can.

Watching someone over thirty try to use Snapchat is like watching a bear try to get into a locked garbage can.

If you think Facebook has been boring (or terrifying) since your parents, grandparents, and their friends became the dominant demographic, wait until they take over Snapchat, which they inevitably will. The invasion has already begun.

Reason #1 – These Simple Statistics

If half of all new users are over 25, and the number of users over 25 is growing twice as fast as users under 25, that means that 100% of all users will be “not cool” by like, next Wednesday.

Snapchat Demographics

Reason #2 – It’s Bigger Than Facebook & Twitter

Snapchat now has more daily users than Twitter, and gets more video views than Facebook. And those numbers put it in lists like this, which means your grampaw and grammaw will learn about it on Fox News soon.

Snapchat Demographics

Reason #3 – Verizon Offers a “Snapchat 101”

What better evidence does one need that something isn’t cool than the fact that a wage-slaving, consumer raping monopoly like Verizon understands it well enough to create a user guide (our studies show that if you clicked that link you’re over 25, by the way).

Snapchat 101

Reason #4 – BuzzFeed Made a Video About It

That alone is kind of like a stake through the heart of anything cool. We’re curious though. At the end of the video, an old lady says “In my day, we had polaroid for that”. That sort of made us laugh, but also made us wonder: what’s a “Polaroid”?

Need More Reasons?

No. You don’t. And yes, we know. We said five reasons. That’s just a clever linkbait trick. People don’t click if you say “four reasons to [whatever]”. Anyway let’s face it. The horror is coming.

And It Looks Like This…

Watching someone over thirty try to use Snapchat is “like watching a bear try to get into a locked garbage can”, as the old saying goes. And by “old”, we mean “last month”.

Your Cart

Browse Our Shop

Weird & WTF Products
Gadgets
Music

Weird & Adult
Movies
Books

Election Humor
icon-300-holidays
View All

Recent Posts

Word of the Day: Innernet

innernet-def


Word of the Day: Schrödinger’s Liberal

Schroedinger-def


Word of the Day: Acroname

acroname-definition

Because “downwind of the sewage treatment plant” sounds a lot cooler when you call it “DoWiseTrePla”


Best of the Obama Biden White House Transition Meme

feat-01

Diamond Joe is making sure The Donald gets the welcome he deserves.


The “Deep State” and Why Trump May Be The Least of Your Worries

newt-puppetmaster-feat

Michael Lofgren’s “Deep State” explains the mechanics of the real power in DC, and does so with surprisingly un-cynical wit.