Hover over Baby Jeebus and he’ll ask you a question. Click to make him happy.

_Source

I’ve never understood the idea of worshiping a deity that you fear. And I’ve never feared a deity more than the baby jeebus above. If you’re the kind of person who has some belief in a greater consciousness than yourself, and the idea that maybe life has a deeper meaning than 140 character tweets or our friends’ latest political flamewars on Facebook, these can be tough times. Between the murderous zealots of Daesh/ISIS and groups like the Westboro Baptist Church, contemporary religion has probably done more to promote atheism than the Spanish Inquisition and Mormons at your door combined. Looking for something to restore your faith? Want to learn more about the origins of the baby jeebus above? Read on.

Since I have no idea how I ended up there, I can only assume that my recent discovery of “Objective Ministries” was providence. After braving the first page of the site I encountered – the Why Have You Forsaken Me page, with its “Door #1 vs. Door #2” style challenge – my destiny was clear. Where else could I find insightful pieces like Paedobaptism Is Wack: Towards A New Urban Waldensianism For The Young Generation or learn that “the Baby Jesus is a fully integrated, homoousian manifestation of the Trinity“, as in the piece The Role Of The Baby Jesus In The Trinity? Or learn that words like homoousian and Triclavianism exist in the first place? I mean, the “three nails or four?” question seems a significant one, if you’re questioning your faith.  They even have a craft section for kids !

And – unlike many other religious groups – instead of handing you an incomprehensible book of text written thousands of years ago, they clarify their position in a statement of belief and handy flow chart:

Let’s face it, would you rather:

A) Have your children exposed to the terrifying messages provided by tools like Jack Chick Tracts?

Or B)

let them learn the chippy truth that LOL stands for Love Our Lord?