I have to confess that when I saw the hail satan snowman Vine yesterday, I immediately thought it would be hilarious to buy a bunch of them for an upcoming holiday party.If you haven’t seen it, there’s already a two minute loop of it on YouTube [clip pulled] here’s a YouTube clip.
With my “buy now button finger” fired up, I quickly found them on Big Lots’ website, only to learn *sigh* that they were “in store only”. No problem! Surely they’re available on Amazon, right? Well, it probably won’t be a cold day in hell before they have them, thanks to virality, but the answer was…”Nope.” Not to worry though, if you too are dying to buy a dozen “repeat toys”, the Santa-hat-wearing hamster below should suffice.
And if not, they also have a Christmas Papa Smurf , there are four other hamster options, three different monkey options (including a sock monkey), and – appropriately I guess – a parrot. But as I browsed Amazon, the site cleverly tossed squawking chickens into the “people who bought this also bought this” scroller, and before I knew it, I once again had fallen prey to what I’ve previously termed Rabbit Wholing.
Remember Duck Army?
Of course you do. And the satanic snowmen had reminded me of it, so it was especially clever of Amazon to make the product connection. If you don’t remember Duck Army, here’s the video, which currently has over ten million views:
The duck army had of course triggered an avalanche of other videos featuring squawking ducks, chickens, and other creatures, in an attempt to cash in on the world’s sudden fascination with dog toys making terrifying sounds in unison, and on their own. Below is a sampling.
Porcine Galline Romance (Or, in laymen’s terms, a chicken boffing a pig):
While we originally were as perplexed as you might be regarding what would inspire someone to not only go to the trouble of ordering the things, but then making a video of them engaging in sweet squawk love and uploading it to YouTube, it made a little more sense when we saw the looks on their faces:
If you want to make your own “chicken makin’ bacon” video, just buy your own! For the chicken with the perpetual “O Face”, you’ll need the Toysmith Squawkin’ Chicken for the terrified-looking pig you’ll need the Knight Pet Pig Latex Toy with Real Squeak, Pink.
Singing Pig Trio Singing “My Girl”
Apparently, this phenomena is more widespread than you’d think, and leaves the pigs feeling a little sentimental about things:
Hungry Chicken
To put it in “UpWorthy-ese”: a chicken entered the kitchen looking for something to eat. You won’t believe what happened next!
So okay, maybe You Don’t Find This All So Amusing
Maybe a turkey laugh track will help.
The Dictator of Turkey
No, we’re not talking about Turkish President Recep Erdogan, we’re talking about this guy. Beware the Turkey Uprising this Thanksgiving. You may have survived Chicken Shawarmageddon, but NO-ONE will survive the Agobblelypse:
Roll Credits!
