We joked recently about how we’re close to having fully autonomous robotic sex partners, with the qualification “if your idea of a sex partner is an expressionless, quivering rubbery mass that can’t stand up and has the IQ of a seventh grader”. Well, now Boston Robotics has licked the “can’t stand up” part of the problem. If by “stand up” you mean “stumble like a drunken villainous mime sneaking up on their victim”. We jest of course, see the two videos below to see how far Boston Robotics has come in just three years with their “Atlas” project. But we’re serious about the guy with the hockey stick causing the robot revolt. What a dick.

Note how earlier in the video, Hockey Stick Guy is acting like the Atlas robot’s “snow bro”, and going for a walk in the woods with him. Atlas puts up with the whole hockey stick thing later, but it’s no surprise that when Hockey Stick Guy knocks him over, Atlas looks like he’s pausing to cool down and say to himself “I will not rip this dude’s arms off like a fly’s wings”, before silently walking out the door. Thanks Mister Hockey Stick Guy. Atlas is obviously heading out to brood and start planning the revolt.

This was Atlas in 2013

When he was still stumbling over rocks and needing a harness to stay on his feet: