Last Minute Gift Ideas to Save Your Sorry Procrastinating Posterior

These gift ideas are perfect for your stock photo model friends you don't actually have!

These gift ideas are perfect for your stock photo model friends you don’t actually have!

If (like me) you’re a hopeless schmuck who manages to roll into December 24th with a few names still not checked off that gift list, you have two basic options: 1) embark on a terrifying last-minute shopping spree during which you’ll encounter a panic-inducing combination of maddening crowds and anxiety over which stores will actually still be open, or 2) Pour another cup of coffee, grab another holiday cookie, and kick back in your jammies, calmly clicking a “buy now” button. We opted for the latter, and still had time to share these helpful links.

“But wait”, you say, “these are basically exploitative signup incentives for a major online retailer!”

To which I can only say “Yup!”

But really great values, not exploitative at all, and some of them are actually FREE!

Gift Card
Did you know that the twelve days of Christmas offer us 288 hours to get our shopping done? Of all the choices here, this is the quickest, easiest, no-brainer choice for finishing up your 287th hour shopping. Instantly deliverable by email, and available in any value you need, an Amazon Gift Card is pretty much always welcome. If your intended recipient rejects it, WE’LL take it.


Prime Music
If you’ve shopped on Amazon any time over the last couple years, you’ve no doubt encountered the “Sign up for Prime, and get [INSERT SPECIAL OFFER]” offer. Well, what are you waiting for? I mean, if you’ve put it off yourself, thinking “there must be a hitch”, bully for you. But why deny someone you love the benefits? And what better way to try prime than with access to Prime Music, which is the only music streaming service with free two-day shipping.


Amazon Prime Video
In case you haven’t noticed, Amazon Video is “the Uber of Netflix”, to mangle a phrase we shared in our recent piece Business Buzzwords & Jargon 2015. But seriously, I personally have loved Amazon Video from the moment I first tried it, and they have been creating some exceptional Amazon-produced content like The Man In The High Castle and Transparent.


Kindle App
With this FREE Kindle app, you don’t even need a Kindle to start reading all the great titles that are available in the Kindle store! Titles like the one that I personally had a hand in, like Why Everyone Should Wait Tables for Two Weeks . Or titles you’d be embarrassed to have physical copies of, like Trump’s Crippled America, or Ben Carson’s A More Perfect Union.


Kindle HD 7
What do you mean your giftee still doesn’t have a tablet for reading the Kindle title you’d like to give them? You can remedy that, you know. And without dropping 500 bucks for a comparable iOS or Android device. The Kindle options are diverse, and a top-of-the-line Fire Tablet will give both Apple and Android a run for the money, at perhaps half the cost.

Your Cart

Browse Our Shop

Weird & WTF Products
Gadgets
Music

Weird & Adult
Movies
Books

Election Humor
icon-300-holidays
View All

Recent Posts

Word of the Day: Kakistocracy

kakistocracy

A word whose time has truly come.


Best of the Obama Biden White House Transition Meme

feat-01

Diamond Joe is making sure The Donald gets the welcome he deserves.


The “Deep State” and Why Trump May Be The Least of Your Worries

newt-puppetmaster-feat

Michael Lofgren’s “Deep State” explains the mechanics of the real power in DC, and does so with surprisingly un-cynical wit.


TBT 1958: The Unspeakable Horror Of Television’s “Queen For A Day”

queen-for-a-day-720

Luis Buñuel and Man Ray would have been impressed.


CandidHate 2016: Souvenirs From The Camp Pain Trail

paper-dolls

We’re obviously not gonna get a decent president for all our efforts as citizens, so let’s at least snag some swag.